Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?

What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. – Ira Glass

So that’s got to be it, right? That’s why everything I read through after the fact causes that wrinkled brow, “ick-this-sounded-better-in-my-head” kind of thing, right?

Been a few rough mornings and I can’t seem to figure out why. Got doused recently with rejections (which normally doesn’t phase me) two short stories are sputtering into the final death throes (which means I’ll trunk them) and I can’t seem to write the book I want to be writing (which is the part that is driving me crazy).

Or at least that I want to want to write. Sigh. I wish I was feeling more confident. More focused. At the very least I wish I was finishing things that I started.

That’s research. Notes, drawings, books that are relevant for one reason or another. Everything I need to write this book. And yet…I’m stalled at 57 sad little pages.

I think it’s time for a step back….I’ve lost the plot (to quote Modest Mouse). I need to know where I have been in order to know where I am going. Someone get me a compass.