Edits on Broken Dolls are DONE DONE DONE

I feel like every blog post I post here is about how I have finished this book yet again.

But here’s what happened – I sent in the draft that I finished after my beta readers read it. Everyone who read it loved it and said everything was working and it was really strong so I was feeling pretty good about sending this to my editor.

Then my edit letter came back.

For reference an edit letter is a letter your editor sends you about what is and what isn’t working in your book and what changes they wanted to see. My editor is amazing and gentle and always leads with great news. And this time was no different.

But this time it was long. Eight pages long to be exact. And it highlighted plot points that weren’t working, character arcs that weren’t working. If there is an aspect of storytelling that can be done wrong, I did it wrong.

Again, she is extremely kind so all of this was delievered as gently as could be but to say that I was panicked would be an understatement. This felt like a re-write more than a revision. Whole plot points needed to change. Whole characters needed to change.

And I didn’t think I had it in me.

See the thing is, I started writing – really writing this book – a few years after my dad died. I felt like I had enough distance that I was ready to talk about my grief. And I was right. It started off well. When I sold the book, I offered my editor two books. I offered the witch book which was basically finished and I offered the idea of the Doll Book with sample chapters and an outline. This was very much not finished.

To my suprise they picked the Doll Book. Which now meant I needed to write this book about grief on deadline.

Deep breath. But I figured I had to be ready otherwise I wouldn’t have put it out there right?

So I got to work. And things were going well. I don’t like writing on deadline and personally don’t suggest that people sell things they haven’t yet written (lesson learned!) but overall I was happy with the story and how it was coming along.

And then my mom died. And everything changed. The grief was too close now, too raw, too over powering. I couldn’t sit there and tell a story about a girl filled with an ache that won’t stop because now I was HER.

There are certain things you can push through. And maybe certain things you shouldn’t push through. Maybe I should have given Harper Collins their money back and walked away. Maybe that would have been better for my mental health. But I’m not built like that. So I powered through.

And now it’s done. I made the edits (hopefully) my editor was looking for and today it is back in her inbox. I broke the bones of this story once again. And I did it with my own broken heart.

While there might be another round of edits, it is the story she saw that it could be. And she was right. Writing a book is a partnership with your editor. It’s your words and it’s your story but you have to trust them to see what you maybe can’t. And I trust her.

So while it’s not completely done and there will be line edits and pass pages, the story is what it was meant to be.

And I’m proud of it. And I know my parents are too.