Hey folks. Been a minute since I’ve posted on here – I know, I know, no one cares lol. Still…
So I just got back from Stokercon and I want to take a minute to talk about what I experienced at Horror Prom. In case you don’t know Stoker is a horror convention that takes place once a year in Pittsburgh – it wasn’t always in Pittsburgh – but it is going to be for the foreseeable future which is good for me cause I have family there so we round out a nice visit when we go.
The convention is hosted by the Horror Writing Association and consists of panels, readings and film screenings. It’s a multi day affair and a lot of fun. And Saturday, is the Stoker Awards Show – where the awards are given out for Outstanding Achievement in a whole variety of categories – first novel, short story, long form non fiction, YA, Middle Grade, etc.
Well this year Broken Dolls was nominated. I was beyond thrilled. Out of all the horror books for kids published last year my little horror book made it onto a list of just five!
I was lucky enough to also have my book This Appearing House included as a Summer Scares title!
Summer Scares is a wonderful reading program from The Horror Writers Association (HWA), in partnership with Book Riot, Booklist, NoveList, and iREAD, which provides libraries and schools with an annual list of recommended horror titles for adult, young adult, and middle grade readers. As a writer and librarian this was an incredible honor. And I had a great time on the panel talking about why kids need and deserve scary books.
I also was lucky enough to do a reading. I read with my friend Brian (who was amazing! Go buy Brian McAuley’s books!) and I was pretty nervous reading a kid’s book to a group of adults but it actually went really well. Thanks to Lila Denning for the photo!
There were lots of laughs and lots of “No Ally NO!” If you’ve read Broken Dolls it was the Raggedy Ann scene. She’s still sitting by my writing desk
The best part of Stoker though was seeing everyone. I’m a socially awkward person and I had to go up to the room a couple times to just….decompress. It’s hard. It really is. But it’s also really worth it. These are people that I care about truly and deeply. And it’s not just cause I’m a fan. When I couldn’t go last year because of cancer treatment, Tanya Pell – a wonderful writer and human being – passed around a card and so many people signed it. I had no idea she was doing this.
There are two things hanging over my writing desk that I look to when I think I can’t do this writing thing. One is a single sentence email from Stephen King that he sent me when he was reading Broken Dolls. It says, “This is good.”
The other is the card Tanya sent me when I couldn’t go to Stoker last year.
Because the Halloween people are family. And Stokercon is a cookout.
So the night of the awards came. Honestly since the nomination, I wasn’t counting on winning. Even on the drive up, I was like, I’m not going to win. And that was fine. But then I got there. I got there and people told me how much they loved Broken Dolls. People told me what the book meant to them. One person told me that it was the one thing that got a loved one to open up about their grief. I mean, my god, that is the power of books isn’t it? The way it can change you? And to think that I wrote that kind of book for someone was incredible.
So, when I lost…I was sad. I’ll admit it. It hurt. It hurt because it felt like I was rejected by my peers. But once the hurt passed, I realized I wasn’t rejected by my peers.
When people told me to my face, what this book meant to them – When I got to stand there with friends laughing about the joy of horror – When I got to talk about how kids need horror – how they need books and program like Summer Scares cause not all kids have books or parents that encourage them to read – When I got to cry and hug Tanya and tell her that that card helped get me through the darkest darkest days of my life – all of that was my peers accepting and celebrating me. And I don’t need a trophy to remember any of it.
The award is nice – sure – and I’m so happy for Delilah – but the award doesn’t put my book in kid’s hands. Teachers and librarians do that and it is to them that I am enormously grateful.
I’m so proud to have a seat at this horror table, at horror prom, to be with all my friends, to celebrate us. Those of us who peer into the darkness knowing that in the darkness hope resides.
Congrats to all the winners, nominees, and attendees. To all the writers and filmmakers. To all of us Halloween Kids.
We are all winners.
Ally Malinenko 